Are you living your best life?

What if you could have all the things you wished for? What if you became the dream version of yourself? What if that dream life is waiting for you? Guess what?! It is.

I know what you are thinking – ‘yeah, right…. (insert eye roll here)’, or ‘here comes the manifesting magic talk’. If you don’t believe me then YOU ARE IN YOUR OWN WAY.

You should probably move, because there is an awesome life waiting for you. This is where you can insert your eyerolls – You must work for it. Did you think there was some secret potion or pill that I’ve been holding out on you? Nope, just some tough love. YOU want it, YOU work for it.

I promise (Holly’s personal guarantee here) that it IS worth it. Working for it is the struggle, the climb, the hardest part. If you are working for that dream version of your life than you’ll find love in the process of getting there.

The best accomplishments are the ones we work for! Not only that, but if you really want something, you’ll make it happen. So, how bad do you want it?

If you put your blood, sweat & tears into something and finally reach that goal just imagine how sweet that would taste. It is a proven fact that the harder something is to achieve, the sweeter the satisfaction in the achievement.

Okay, so you have that dream life & what it looks like, but how do I make it happen?

Make a goal. Break down that goal into baby steps from achieving the goal allllllll the way down to where you are at right now. Yup, square one – the bottom – the start.

Ready, set, GOALS.

Silly pun intended.

XX

Holly

Is the world against you, or are you against the world?

What if you decide that crap things happen & there is just nothing you can do about it? Are you blaming other people, places and things for YOUR life?

Let’s be clear. I’m NOT someone who believes ‘everything happens for a reason’. Bad things happen to good people. Bad things happen to everyone.

What if we accept that bad things happen for you because the universe is writing your story and just because it does not make sense NOW does not mean it won’t make sense LATER.

I’m going to through it back the the beatles right now and tell you to LET IT BE. Let it be. Let it be. Yup, sit in that uncomfortable uncertainty. I promise you every storm runs out of rain.

Whining, wallowing and complaining are guest at a pity party that NO ONE wants to be at. So, don’t give in. Turn on that pump-up jam and shake it off.

If life feels like it’s testing you, it is. I dare you to test it right back! You have the ability to pass the test with positivity & choosing how to handle it.

YOU CONTROL YOUR LIFE.

Don’t let life control you. Choose the life you want & live it!

How to Do the Impossible

We are emotional beings. There is a time to tap into those emotions and a time to release those emotions. It is finding the grace in when to know when to lean in & when to let go. Insecurity & self doubt can be self destructive or it can be empowering… if you embrace the self doubt as a challenge and prove yourself wrong you will succeed even if you fail because you tried.

NOT TRYING is FAILURE. Has anyone ever heard… ‘Well if I don’t try, I won’t fail.’? That is avoidance. AVOIDANCE is FAILURE. Becoming great is trying with the uncertainty of succeeding or failing. UNCERTAINTY is OPPORTUNITY! 

‘You will not get where you want to be by doing what you’ve always done. What got you here, will not get you there!’ There is no end game of struggle. You will always have to push for more. YOU have to push yourself EVERYDAY to be better than you were yesterday. Don’t cheat yourself from achieving your greatest version of you.

If you can leave one thing on this earth before you go, would you rather say ‘I tried it all’ or say, ‘I played it safe’? Those are two different ways of going through life. You can live you life, or you can survive your life. Just remember, you only get one chance.Profit in your loses. Embrace the fear.

3 years ago I couldn’t run one mile without feeling like I was going to die. I decided one day in January that I was going to run a half marathon that April. Let me be the first to say, a half marathon IS NOT HALF of anything. 13.2 miles is no joke… especially to someone like ME who couldn’t even run 1 mile! I thought I was crazy. My friends & family thought I was crazy. I did the training, I committed to this goal and I kept going. I set this impossible goal and I decided in that moment that I was going to put in the work to achieve it.

I achieved the impossible and completed the Rochester Half Marathon in 2 hours and 28 minutes. It was not the banana they give you at the finish line or the metal you get to take home & hang on your wall that gave me feel the greatness in myself. It was that I said I was going to do something that I thought was impossible & I did it. There is no replacement for that feeling of accomplishing something you worked your ass off to achieve in spite of what you or anyone else thought.

No matter how crazy the goal, if it’s calling on your heart – LISTEN.

Do the work and get the payoff. I promise you – it is so worth it!

XX

Holly

Stop Caring About What Other People Think

Who cares what people think? I do! We all do! We live in a society of filtered selfies and Pinterest perfection. We want to be the best, better than all the rest. We want the most likes & the most views.

Why?

Really ask yourself why these things are so desired. Yes, being the best, getting all the likes and the praise releases endorphins. I get it! Who doesn’t love a good dose of endorphins and a state of euphoria? BUT, what happens when the 15 minutes of fame fades & your audience moves on to the next cat video or meme? You become depressed. Your brain chemicals literally tell you to be sad. So, you then jump on that hamster wheel and try to get more praise and admiration from others to reach that euphoric state again.

I beg you, GET OFF THE WHEEL.

Where are you going when you are on a wheel? Nowhere.

If you rely on the approval of others to make you feel good, you are doing it wrong. Yes, I’m calling you out… knock it off! I called myself on this at the start of this journey & it’s a hard pill to swallow. That internal monolog starts… ‘I want everyone to like me, I want everyone to tell me how pretty I look today, I want everyone to admire how beautiful my home is’ and so it goes. If you believe you need external motivation to be who you want to be, aren’t serving yourself in anyway.

Invest in yourself.

It is YOU and only you at the end of every single day with the regrets, the thoughts, the could have, should have do that thing when your head hits the pillow. So, WHY are you seeking approval from anyone but YOURSELF? ‘Other people’s opinions are NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS’, whether they love you or hate you – it does not matter.

What if you did what made you feel good? What if you did that one thing because you believe it will benefit you tomorrow? The only person you need to compare yourself to is who you were yesterday. “Comparison is the death of joy.” I don’t know who said it first, but it’s been repeated by so many intelligent people… repeat it. Repeat it over & over & over again. Repeat it until you believe it! Words are powerful.

The most powerful words are the ones that we speak to ourselves. Does anyone ever do the guilt and shame self-talk and then feel super awesome?!? NO – it’s absolutely never going to happen friends. My pal Rachel Hollis says, ‘Don’t be dumb!’ Don’t be mean to yourself. If it hurts, stop doing it.

Today’s society provides so many platforms for people to be mean, to bring you down, to make you feel worthless. Don’t let your own brain beat you down! You control your thoughts, then those thoughts turn into your actions, and your actions are who you are. ‘Someone in the cheap seats does not get to have an expensive opinion of you.’

What if we stopped caring about what other people thought & started embracing who you are meant to be. Reading these words will not flip a switch – IT WILL BE HARD. Do it anyway. I promise you will not regret it.

XX

Holly

The Secret to Happy

When we are asked to write down our goals for the new year, how many of us say “I want to be happy”? Happiness is not a goal. Happiness is not a destination. We don’t go to happy. We can’t do that one thing, get that one thing & then we will be happy. Happiness is a choice.

Happy is a state of mind. You show up to your life everyday and choose your perception. Are you annoyed that you must shovel your car out of the snow before heading to work? Are you happy that it snowed? Are you happy that you have a car to get you to that job you have?

Happiness is lack of desire. Happy is found in presence. You envelop yourself in a happy state of mind when you observe the life you have, rather than wanting change or desiring something you don’t have. If you have a want or desire that you believe will make you happy, I challenge you to dig deep into why that want is there. It’s probable that you are lacking something deeper than you initially thought.

Is life all rainbows & butterflies by switching your mind to optimism? No. Absolutely not. You cannot truly enjoy happy without experiencing sad, mad, heartbreak. What you CAN do is observe those other emotions with perspective. Emotions don’t define who you are. Feeling sad, angry or betrayed are easier emotions to get through with the confidence in knowing happy will come around again.

Happiness comes from the relationship you have with yourself. It is internal! You cannot rely on outside factors to make you happy – only you can make you happy. When your relationship with yourself is loving and strong, it will then bleed to relationships with others.

Material things will not bring you sustainable happiness. This is not to say you can’t buy that sweater you have been eyeing because it’s a material object. If you want the sweater because wearing the sweater would make you feel good and it’s a thing that brings you joy that is not that same thing as buying the sweater because everyone will think you are fashionable, beautiful, classy – insert whatever compliment you are wanting from others here. If it’s FOR YOU, do it!

Remember, you choose your state of mind. Let’s choose happy!

XX

Holly

The Struggle is Real

What if I don’t want to get out of bed today? What if I have an anxiety attack at work today? What if they realize I’ve just been pretending this whole time? What if I can’t do what they do? What if I can’t live life like they can?

What if I can? What if I got out of bed and nailed if today? What if I told that internal voice to be a little nicer today? What if life is happening FOR ME instead of to me?

You are what you think. Thoughts are turned into actions and those actions become who you are perceived to be. You are in 100% control of the thoughts inside your head, therefore you are 100% in control of who you are. That is a powerful statement my friends.

It’s hard, I get it! Hard does not mean impossible. I’m here to share my success and struggle as I go through all the things out loud. I’m three months into #unfriendingmyanxiety and I want to tell you it’s possible.

You are not anxious, you DO anxious. You are not depressed, you DO depressed. What if today you DO happy? Feelings and emotions don’t define who you are! Let’s use that powerful thought machine to work with us instead of against us.

Heck, we have to listen to that internal thought loop, why not make it your best friend instead of your worst enemy?

XX

Holly